This Is Bad...and Perplexing

I just read a review on Amazon for a vampire romance novel.

This line is Just Plain Bad: "his chest was like paint rollers under the skin." Um, heroine to hero, I assume.

Or maybe I'm assuming too much.

But...what the heck does that mean? What the hell does a paint roller feel like under the skin? Is this something the author experienced first hand?

Eewwww...I really don't want to go there.

ETA: As I haven't read the book (and I doubt that I will, unless I can find a used copy), the line might actually be: "...looked like he was smuggling paint rollers under his skin." And it refers to six-pack abs.

WTF? Why not just say he had chiseled abs or something just as simple (and not as silly or squicky?)

Seriously, though, how can any editor or publisher worth their salt leave in something like that?

It just boggles.

~Nancy Beck


Angie said...

ROFL! Umm, yeah. :) It sounds like some baby writer was trying to be "different" and "creative" and went off the deep end.


April said...

Wow. That is really...weird. how does someone even think of something like that? Ewww is right! That makes me frustrated - how does that get published...and I'm still trying? I mean, I may be green, but I'm better than that!

~Nancy said...

It sounds like some baby writer was trying to be "different" and "creative" and went off the deep end.

Exactly. I mean, what's wrong with saying "chiseled" or "six-pack" abs? Or is that considered too cliche? But the other stuff...egads!

That makes me frustrated - how does that get published...

Probably because she's been bringing the bacon to the publishers for such a long time (that's what happens when you've got a franchise). You should go read the review of one of the lowest rated books ever on Mrs. Giggles' site about a certain writer of vampire novels' former bodyguard (or something) that got a 3(!) book deal.

I think I wrote about it in a prior post.

Anyway, if you want to make yourself feel better when you've gone over the same scene 10 times and you *still* think it's crap (I know that's happened to me), head on over there and look at some of her lower reviews (those 35 and below). She doesn't mince words!

~Nancy said...

BTW, the one I was thinking of is in the "G" archives over at Mrs. Giggles, with the last name beginning "Gryph".