What the F***?

I usually don't go on and on about cover art (or how cruddy it looks), but this has to be one of the ickiest, most blah covers I've seen in a long time.
(And this got a good review over at the Fantasy Debut blog - hi, Tia! - but the cover? Not so much.)

I mean, what the heck is that guy wielding? A couple of lillies. (Seriously. Those look like the petals of lillies on the ends of - whatever the heck he's supposed to be holding.)

And what the hell is shoved up his ass? Or maybe he's tired and is just leaning against some wooden post. (I first thought that was his left leg, but, no...it doesn't look that way.)
Look, I'm the last one to go on and on about drawings; I think the last time I drew anything that was half-way decent was back in sixth grade, so it's been a loooong while. ;-)

Forging ahead to the blonde falling out of the bustier (or whatever it is that she's wearing), according to Tia at Fantasy Debut (who has read the book), "The only scene likely to have featured such a blonde did not have armored thugs. And another fight that featured a girl had her doing most of the fighting."

Oh, wait. Those white things are actually armored helmets - I guess the sun is glinting off them. Or something.

Wow - it really makes you appreciate the truly beautiful covers even more - whether you like the story within or not.

Love and kisses,
~Nancy Beck


Tia said...

You crack me up! One of my blog readers determined that the thing up his ass is, in fact, the sword scabbard positioned at an unfortunate angle.

The novel behind that cover is awesome, so don't let that put you off. Just get it in paperback--Tor did a great job with that cover. But unfortunately, it's not available until June. I'll be buying a copy then. In the meantime, I checked it out of the library.

Liz said...

So that old adage, 'you can't tell a book by looking at the cover' seems to hold true. THAT cover is truly awful. Someone's going to be very disappointed if they buy it, I guess.

Nancy Beck said...


Although I nice cover may sway me into buying a book, a crappy cover doesn't necessarily deter me...which is why I usually look at review blogs like yours, and I read excerpts, too.

And it's already on my Amazon Wish List, so I'll be buying it at some point, you can be sure! :-)

Nancy Beck said...


I guess if someone picks that up expecting it to be about the bubonic plague or something, they're in for a disappointment.

However, I like the idea of blending a hard-boiled detective-type story with fantasy, so I'll probably be picking this up at some point. :-)