Blurb For Changing Faces

Using Absolute Write's query help in the Share Your Work section as a guide, I've come up with a blurb that I think encapsulates the paranormal suspense I'm working on.

If anyone wants to comment as to whether it's good, so-so, or it sucks, feel free to do so.

This is what I've come up with.

Tessa Palmisano can see auras and uses this power to bring in a little extra money for living expenses, as the office temp jobs aren’t coming in as quickly as she’d like. When her landlady offers her a month rent free in exchange for cleansing a house of its bad auras, Tessa didn’t know there’d be sexy Bertrand Gaston and a beautiful but mysterious dog thrown in with the deal.

Dark auras have malevolent energies, while light auras have harmonious energies, and it’s Tessa’s luck that the house has entwined dark auras. It will take time to unravel the energies—time Tessa does not have.

For if the dark auras are allowed to stay entwined, their wicked energies will bind to the house, inflicting murderous or suicidal thoughts on those who live there, including Bertrand—and the landlord.

But can Tessa figure it out before a new killer is bred?

What do you think?  Okay?  Sucky?  It's the first in a series, and I've already got an idea for the next one.  BTW, it still looks like it's going to be a novella at this point.  Not that that's bad or good, just sayin'. :-)

I'm thinking of self pubbing this by the beginning of April.


Nicholas La Salla said...

I like this blurb. The only thing I'd maybe elaborate on is how she is using her powers to make a little money on the side, that's not clear in the first paragraph. Is she murdering people for hire? Is she doing laundry with magic? We don't know.

I like the idea! Sounds like a very promising book. :-)

If you want to look at my product description, I've included a link below to the Amazon page. I worked on mine for quite some time before the eventual release. I think it encapsulates the plot pretty well, and so far the response has been nice.

- Nick
One More Day: A Modern Ghost Story

Angie said...

The "beautiful but mysterious dog" part made me read it twice. Usually those descriptors are used for a love interest, or a femme fatale in something noirish, but it's a dog, so that's probably not the case here. Just a bit of a hiccup while I read.

This part:

But can Tessa figure it out before a new killer is bred?

specifically the word "bred," makes it sound like a new killer might actually be, well, bred. As in, conceived and born. Is that what you mean? If not, then I don't know what you mean. Taken in context, it seems like you probably mean something else, but...? Help! :)


Nancy Beck said...

Angie, you make some very good points.

In the first case, I think I'm too close to the dog (because it's based on my own dog, lol, altho he's clearly a he! ;-)). I'll probably just drop the "beautiful" part.

And, yeah, I *do* mean something else other than what I wrote (and it's kind of melodramatic, too ::wince::).

This is what happens when you just whip up something on the fly. ;-)

Thanks for taking a look. :-)

Angie said...

Welcome, and good luck!


Nancy Beck said...

@Nick, thanks for taking a look. I hadn't thought about any of that (laundry with magic, lol; I wish I could do that! ;-)).

And I'll check out your book description, esp. as the response has been good for you. (Nothing like real-world examples. :-)


I've already ditched the part about the dog; as I said in my other reply, I'm such a nut about dogs it carries over where it doesn't have to (and altho there *is* something mysterious about the dog, it's not something that will be found out until a later installment).

And I've redone the last line, too.

But I'll definitely be reworking this blurb even as I revise the first installment.

Thanks to you both! :-)